Cause Am Cooler than the Black Cat

I don't hate cat, i think they are soft, cute and cuddly. Am a cat-less person, and i want one very badly. I squeal when i see little balls of furs, the cats. I want to hold them and play with them. Aren't they just like babies?But am not going to be an old woman with 27 cats. No way. Because they can be annoying as hell. This hungry weird black cat and I hate each other. We first met during my mid terms, It was 3 AM and I was about to fall asleep on the physio book, flat, when I heard a swishing voice, I looked about myself and saw the black cat. With the speed of light, from the floor I was on the bed, under the covers shivering like a mouse.. Screaming "mummy, mummy'. You see i was shocked. Where on earth did this cat come from? I was sure it was a witch in disguise. No one came to my help, and I drifted off to sleep in just a few minutes. Physio was long forgotten. In the morning the large loaf of bread was lying injured on the floor.

Since then I often 'feel' and see the cat wandering around my house in the darkest hours of night. I know it's not a witch, still it's quite creepy catching a cat on your dining table nibbling on a banana at 4 in the morning eying me like I am trespassing on her property. Occasionally it brings some stuff (very gross stuff, I should say) as a gift and I just wish it would stop visiting my home like some queen of a faraway land.
Okay so this was quite stupid.. But i had nothing else in mind.

I wonder why it never miaows...