And Where Are My Perfect Shoes?!

I want to sing this song (I know I sound horrible when I sing but just tolerate a bit)

So, ahem ahem…here I go:

I want fabulous,
That is my simple request,
All things fabulous,
Bigger and better and best,
I need something inspiring to help me get along,
I need a little fabulous is that so wrong?

Thank you, thank you! (Bows)

Now you must be thinking why I sang this song. Don’t worry, am not at all like Sharpay, but I do want fabulous. And perfect. This is not easy as am far from perfect. To quote Marian Keyes I’m like plain unflavored yoghurt at 35 C. Get the hint, huh? Good! Even though I’m like yoghurt that doesn’t mean I can’t be perfect. Put ‘Nobody is perfect’ to hell! I say everybody is perfect (ok Sidrah, don’t you get sentimental here). Anyways, my point is…..well, I don’t know what my point is...am bored to death so am just writing whatever comes to mind.

Eid is tomorrow. Am glad. NOT! I don't have the perfect fabulous shoes!! Believe me, I tried every single shoe but none of them gelled with me. Actually, I bought one pair of shoes but now I don’t like them. Somewhere in the darkest corner of the city (I hope not too dark) perfect shoes would be waiting for me. I wish they’d scream my name so I’d go running to them. I feel like Cinderella waiting for her prince’s arrival with her shoes (not really!)

Oh no, mum just entered my room. What’s she saying?

‘Blah, blah blah blah blah…….’ mum is talking but am not listening, am not being rude or anything, it’s just that whenever mum (or dad) speaks to me my brain automatically stops working. So, it’s not my fault. I heard a word or two, something about cleaning my room. I just cleaned it three months ago! If mum insists I’ll just stash the stuff under the bed or in closets. Skeletons in the closet… (Lame joke, I know!)

‘Blah blah blah blah….’ oh no, now she wants me to study! Isn’t that too cruel of mum? I have gotten free just a month ago (two months ago, actually). I need to relax (make that reeeeelaaaaxxxx!!!) and why do universities take aptitude test? People say they’re easy, just logic. But logic means I’ll have to use my brain. Which is quite hard. My mind doesn’t listen to me….it has a mind of its own. I do wonder sometimes if I’ve a mind or not. Then I say I must have, as am so smart and all (sorry, am not really a modest person). Oh, well.

Right now, I’m staring at the screen…posting my blog’s URL on Orkut (which I think is the most boring thing to do). Checking out random profiles (which is also the most boring thing), looking for perfect and fabulous background (boring). Wondering where my perfect and fabulous shoes are (disturbing). Thinking about writing a perfect and fabulous story (yawns)…..and I still wish I were an elf. Being a human being is way too boring. At least for me it is. Now my eyes are watering. I should shut down the PC, and I can smell something burning. You must be bored too by my all so nuisance chatter (I hope not!)….anyways.... Cya!

She wants fabulous,
That is her simple request,
All things fabulous,
Bigger and better and best,
She needs something inspiring to help her get along,
She needs a little fabulous is that so wrong?

Fabulous pool, fabulous splash,
Fabulous parties even fabulous trash,
Fabulous fashion, fabulous bling,
She's got to have fabulous everything.

Nothing to discuss. Everything's got to be perfect. For me!

Think Happiness

Just a quote i liked: "Three things should never be broken...Toys, Promises and Hearts"

You get up from the bed, draw the curtains..letting the warm sunshine in, you feel the cool breeze on your skin and tell yourself it's a new day. A new start. But later in the day nothing changes, everything is same. You're being trampled on again. At night you stand by your window, watching the moon hiding behind the clouds, you ask God 'Why me?' You never get an answer. You never will until you think. Maybe it's your own fault and you're unaware. Hate and jealousy will only damage your soul. It's a not good feeling when people are expecting something from you and you fail to live up to their expectations. You know you've a potential to do better, but you've failed and now it's over. You're giving up. Once a failure always a failure. Or so you think so. You're stuck in a big hole, all alone...but why give up? Try to find a way out. It's right when they say 'Try and try until you succeed'. You should never give up. No matter how hard you fall, or how far you fall...you have got to bounce back. Nobody in this world will help you. People might comfort you, but only you can help yourself. So, have hope and think happiness! And yes, Everyday is a new day, a new start. =)

Smile Wide, Smile Bright

Lisa usually woke up with a big smile on her face but not on that Monday morning. Everything seemed to be going wrong. Firstly she’d this nightmare in which she was lost in a dessert, dying from hunger and thirst, and about fifty camels chasing her. Secondly, when she was getting up from her bed, she slipped and bruised her knee. Thirdly while slipping; she also managed to break her precious china doll into thousands of pieces. Grumbling and muttering, trying to avoid further accidents, she went to brush her teeth. Usually after brushing her teeth she’d flash a quick smile at the mirror, admiring herself. But, of course, not on that morning. Today she just stood in front of her mirror and saw an ugly creature staring back at her, a creature who was scowling, eyes narrowed, with its lips slipped downwards.
‘This is me,’ she announced sadly to herself ‘I never knew I look like this ugly’ feeling hopeless already she began to feel sad too. Running the comb through her brown bushy hairs, she picked up her school bag. Before going downstairs she glanced at her reflection once again.
‘Oh Lisa, don’t frown like that,’ a voice like that of cartoons cried, making her jump.
‘Who’s this?’ Lisa looked around herself; sure that someone was playing a trick on her.
‘Your mirror!’ the voice chuckled ‘Stop scowling like that and smile, will you? You’re not at all ugly’
‘Don’t lie to me whoever you’re, my reflection says it all,’ she replied sadly, and frowned even deeper.
‘You don’t believe me, do you?’ the mirror said, bleakly ‘You’re quite pretty when you smile. But if you want to look like this forever, then I can’t stop you’ Mirror went silent.
‘But I don’t want to look like this!’ Lisa exclaimed helplessly.
‘You don’t?’ Mirror asked solemnly.
‘Yes, I don’t!’ Lisa exclaimed exasperatedly.
‘Then smile!!’ the mirror was cheerful again.
She looked backed at her refection. Indeed she was frowning deeply.
‘Smile,’ the mirror encouraged. Lisa obeyed and smiled. That was the Cinderella Moment. The ugly creature in the mirror suddenly turned into a pretty little girl.
‘Oh, Mirror! You’re right; I’m not ugly at all!’ Lisa exclaimed happily.
‘Yes, Lisa you’re not,’ Huh? This wasn’t Mirror. She looked over her shoulder and saw her mum standing on the door.
‘Hurry up, your brothers waiting’ her mum frowned deeply, her hands on her hips ‘you’re going to be late’
Lisa hugged he mum ‘Don’t frown, mum! It doesn’t suit you at all. Smile!’ her mum laughed at this and hugged Lisa back. ‘Now come downstairs!’ she pecked Lisa on her cheek and smiled. ‘Yes, coming in a moment,’ Lisa turned to face the mirror: ‘Mirror, mirror! Hanging on the wall. Who’s the beautiful of all?’ ‘Ho ho, ho ho’ the mirror laughed loudly like Santa Claus but said nothing. ‘Oh well, I think I’m beautiful!’ Lisa smiled grandly and went downstairs. ‘That’s the spirit!’ the mirror yelled after her.

How many times in a day you tell yourself that you’re ugly? Many times? Sometimes, I do too. In real life, no mirror is going to tell us that we look good when we smile. We’ll have to tell that ourselves. Many people don’t smile because they wear braces and are afraid that they’ll get teased but I think a person wearing braces and smiling widely is downright awesome! Smiling not only makes you look cute but it also makes you look friendly, it’s one of the best ways to approach someone! You smile and the world will smile with you! So, guys keep smiling and cheering... And don’t scowl and frown, they don’t suit you at all!

Oops!....I Did It Again!

Do you guys often make a fool of yourselves? Or say, make an ass of yourself? Yeah, I’m talking about those awkward and embarrassing moments which make us cringe... Oh man, I’ve been through so many of them that I shouldn’t feel humiliated anymore. I should get used to it by now, but I can’t. I guess nobody can. You just have to live with this stuff. Some of them are funny, and you can have a good laugh later about them…they’re the good ones!

Few months back my aunt came over our house. She’s in her late forties and is all preppy and all-you-people-I’m-perfect-and-don’t-you-dare-mess-with-me type (let’s call her Pixel?). Everything gets on her nerves (except her own children of whom she thinks a world of, but ‘they do’ get on ‘my’ nerves). Anyways, it was a hot-hot day, and when I say hot, I mean hot. The sun was being unusually cruel to us citizens of Karachi...and what’s with this load-shedding thing, it was awfully awful. So, there she was standing on our doorstep, her head held high and a little smug smile playing on her lips. Her hairs, which are always ‘perfect’, were not-so perfect that day. Her make-up was smeared and she'd dark circles…oh well; she was looking ‘Horrible!!!’ She must have seen my shocked expression, as she ran her fingers through her hair and dabbed a tissue on her face consciously.

‘Hello’ I said after a while and moved aside to let her in.

‘Where’s your mother,’ she smiled at me, came inside and went straight into our kitchen (which was quite messy that day)

‘She’s out. She’ll be back in about half an hour, I think’ I led her to the lounge and we sat on the sofa in awkward silent. Aunt Pixel eyed the room (which was also quite messy, my brothers’ toys, clothes, books strewn all over the place and hey, what was that! Oh, just ketchup dripping from the bottle). At times like these I wish I’d some magical powers, so with just a glance I could clean this place. I so wish!

‘Could you get me a glass of water, dear?’ she said in a way which meant ‘where are your manners, girly?’

‘Oh, yes, of course,’ I got up and went to the kitchen. Now, kitchen is one of those places in my home where you won’t find me often, actually almost never. I went through cabinets, cursing myself for not knowing where mum had put those ‘precious’ glasses of hers. After an hour (it was only 5 minutes, ok?) I found some of those oh-so-precious glasses. Took out one, filled the glass with ice-cold water, placed it on a tray and went back to the lounge.

I handed the glass to Aunt Pixel, she said thanks and in one big gulp she drank it all.

‘Err…would you like some more?’ I asked, wishing she’d say no.

‘Yes, dear,’ she smiled, for the first time she ‘really’ smiled. What I mean is, it also looked like a smile.

I took one quick look. Poor Aunt Pixel, she looked so tired. Why don’t you give her some lemonade? The angel on my shoulder whispered softly. God knows where the devil was, if it were here, it’d have tried to stop me. But no, at that time it was taking a nap or something. Yes, that would be nice, I told the angel. So, I made Aunt Pixel some lemonade.

I handed her the glass, smiling sweetly at her. I shouldn’t have smiled. When people say smiling is good, it is …but on other hand it could make some people suspicious.

‘I made some lemonade for you,’ I was pleased with myself. Aunt Pixel gave me that unique smile of hers and took a sip. I waited for her reaction, waiting for her to say something…like praising me? But instead of smiling she frowned.

‘Something isn’t right,’ she took another sip and frowned even deeper.

‘Umm…what’s wrong?’ my face fell as she put the glass aside.

‘It has a weird taste,’ she shrugged. Just then the bell rang. Saved by the bell, I thought, and went to open the door. Mum came in with hundreds of shopping bags. When she saw Aunt Pixel, she threw the bags on the floor and ran to hug her. It isn’t often you’ll find Aunt Pixel in our home. And mum simply dotes on her sister. I left them, the glass of poor lemonade in my hand and went back to kitchen. I was puzzled, why didn’t Aunt Pixel like this lovely cool refreshing lemonade, I wondered out aloud.

‘Because it wasn’t lemonade?’ the devil crackled loudly

‘What?’ I turned sharply to look at my shoulder. The devil pointed his pitchfork towards the chopping board where there were two yellow circular things, also known as lemons. Then it hit me, I forgot to add lemons. So the drink I served Aunt Pixel was just a mixture of water, sugar and salt. And yeah some ice-cubes. Now, how stupid you can get? So, that was my lemonade story, not so humiliating now (kinda hilarious)…but its true embarrassment when you feel embarrassed by your own self, and that was exactly what I felt at that time.

There’re too many of them, but I can’t tell you all, of course!

Does it happen to you too? When you’re about to laugh but you let out that ugly cough making it ‘coughter’ from the ‘laughter’. I hate it when it happens to me! Not that it happens to me often, just once or twice in all my years.

Nothing Lasts Forever

It was our last day at school. We joked, laughed and smiled like nothing was changed. Gifts were exchanged, photographs were taken and promises were made. But we all knew deep inside that it won’t be same again. During the last hour, I went through all the classrooms, corridors, playground, library, laboratories…trying to keep their pictures fresh in my mind. At that time, I felt I wouldn’t be able to cope. School, where you spend about 12 years, is like a second home. It was quite disturbing knowing that I won’t be coming here anymore. Not ever wearing the boring uniform again which we all hated with a passion, not going to the canteen which sold food which wasn’t even edible, no more strict assemblies, no detentions, no gym, no double classes of chemistry, no dreading moments where you’d to face the principal, they might have sound welcoming when we were still in eighth grade, but not then…even if we hated those things there were far too many which we all loved. Especially the history class where we’d get all the fun, I know history classes are supposed to be boring but ours wasn’t. I looked at the desk where I’d doodled when I would be dying of boredom. I still wonder sometimes if the school still has that desk in which I’d written ‘Sidrah was bored here, Jan/2005 ’. But then again, it was not in a good shape…it’d be broken by now. We said goodbye like we normally did, no tears were shed, but we were smiling at one another nervously as if we knew we might never see each other again. When I reached home, I felt really sad. We friends still talked and met but it was different. We no longer could make fun of teachers, no daily gossips about who was doing what…we’d talk about old things like how silly that girl was looking in the picnic, or it was really unfair of our teacher to punish us when we weren’t the one talking. Stuff like that, it was ok, though. I didn’t get to brood for too long, I enjoyed summer vacations as I’d done every year...they ended and the college started. Oh, how scary I thought it’d be! I was sure I wouldn’t be able to fit in. On our 1^st day, Sana said “It’s like we’re on a mission”...I agreed with her. It did seem like a mission. Two years passed like a flash and they were not bad, but quite fun. Again, on the last day at college, I felt as if I were leaving the important part of my life behind. The song ‘College days’ would make me sad, it still do actually. A week ago I went to college to collect the certificates. I’d thought I’d feel sad and all but surprisingly I didn’t. Everything was same but all the faces were different, the new students stared at me like I was intruding on their property...little did they know I’d the same feeling for them! Even I still miss my school and college days, I don’t really want to go back, because there’s no going back now. These doors have been closed forever *new ones are still locked!*. Those were lovely days, I can’t live them again...but I’ve gotten memories and my friends and they’ll do. Nothing lasts forever but hey, life goes on!

Now I’m wondering what’ll happen next, would I like the university (or wherever I’m going!)? Would other students like me? Would I be able to make friends? They’re my latest worries. Let’s see what happens now. Cya! ^_^

P.S: This drawing is made by Sana (shipwrecklagoon.blogspot.com) ...n here 'U' is me ..and Me is Sana =s!

Emo; Cookie

A Whole New Look!!!

Yes!
At last!!

I can’t believe it…can you? I bet you can’t! My friend, Sana, fainted from shock! OK, OK sorry, I’m prone to exaggerating..what can I do? But she was like OHHHH! Everybody (including me) is surprised! Still have to make a few changes (which I’ll do soon) and I know it’s not really awesome (should I change it?) but this will do for now (maybe forever!). People who don’t know what I’m talking about …well, guys, I changed the template. Now, if you’re thinking that I’ve lost my mind or something equally like that, I mean who writes a whole new post about a new layout? (I do!), so if you think, like, you’re totally wasting your time then you can go, I’m not stopping you (but it’ll be nice if you stay and post nice-nice-comments!) and if you think that this just so great then…umm…read on (and comment)!Anyways, the reason I’m so happy is that I’ve finally gotten rid of Snapshot Sable! Do you know it is evil!? No? Really? (Looking aghast) Well, I’ll bring you to light! That awfully awful Snapshot, it put a curse on me! It joined forces with Lady Lazy (which resides in my brain) and ATTACK!!!! I couldn’t get rid of it. Poor me, daily searching for templates and backgrounds and what not! I liked thousands of them, no, make that, millions of them! Would go happily to edit HTML and after some click click click...a whole new template! But then Lady Lazy would knock on the door of my brain
‘Oh come on, sweet!’ Lady Lazy would say in her sickly sweet voice (so sweet that I’m sure you can get diabetes) ‘Open up the door. I live here too!’
Ms. Doubtful who never likes my template (except snapshot) would cast a doubtful look at her brother Mr. OhIAlwaysGIVEuP. He’d swallow and look wearily at the door, thinking: ‘Poor Lazy, standing outside in the dark …I should open the door or maybe I shouldn’t. But if I’ll then maybe she’ll marry me’. Cheered up by this silly thought he’d get up and open the door. Lady Lazy like a race horse (or a bike?) would come running at the centre of my brain and ZzzzzZZzz …meaning, she’d fall asleep! (The nerve of her). Because of her I missed my school van hundreds of times, she’s the cause of those detentions and punishments I got as I didn’t complete my assignments and stuff. She’s the cause I gain weight! Argh!! Hate her!! Ok, coming back to the topic (what was the topic again?...oh yes...) so, when Lady Lazy sleeps, we (me & myself) begin to feel lazy and tired. The new template, that’d need a lot of work and clicks, would look horrible! To avoid it I’d do some more click click click and TADA! Back to Snapshot Sable! (Hate it!!!) …so, now you see how horrible it is! What..? No? You think I’m making up this all?? Wow! Maybe that evil snapshot has cast some spell on you (that’s must be the reason you’re taking its side!) …Beware! You might change your cool (or lovely) template to snapshot. I’m warning you! Well, that was the story of my layout! (What’s yours? *don’t tell me, I was just being polite*)

NOTE: Wait a minute! OK, wait a ‘second!’...Just hear me out, will you? Thanks! I know this is stupid (I do!) …but you don’t have to make these faces...I’d warned you earlier this post is gonna be silly so don’t blame me and now you shall comment….!!!