You smile, you hug. You're being sweet. You're hopeful.... But *Duh!*.. all you get is a door slammed shut on your face. Or something quite like it.
Wondering: What went wrong?
No idea.
Waiting.. and waiting.. And waiting. My cell won't ring, the message won't come. I want to put my cell in a trunk, lock it and then throw it in the sea. It's too bad when i see 'one new message', my heart gives a flutter, fingers crossed I unlock it and *duh!* it's merely someone else. How many times I've counted till 100?? 100 times? Or maybe more.
I don't feel like saying sorry... Again.
Anyways. There's alot to write.. which I'll tomorrow.. Hopefully! Should go to bed now.. *yawn*
‘I want an Ice cream!!’ my five year old cousin, Dexter, very brutally pulled on my arm, and shouted in my ear. ‘I just gave you one, where is it? Surely, you haven’t eaten it yet?’ I asked him, shrugging him off me. ‘I dropped it,’ he gave me a puppy dog look. I sighed and gave him mine. I didn’t want to (I love mango tango) but I was sure we didn’t have any left. I watched Dexter as he licked it, and after few yucky big bites, he handed me Mango Tango back. Saying that I can eat it now. Don’t worry, I didn’t eat it. I’m not that greedy.
Anyways
Picture this: It’s a second day of Eid. You’re at your Grandpa’s place. Dressed in your Eid clothes (which, I assure you, are very very uncomfortable, as it was selected by my mum…and the dress has sequins and all that silly stuff on it…itchy...itchy…itchy!!) . Your aunts (I’ve seven) and your mum are having fun in the next room. You can hear them laughing, gossiping and eating (I couldn’t ‘hear’ them eating, but they were having tea). You’re babysitting 9 devilish evil children all by yourself. Your brothers are supposed to help you, but they’ve run away with your totally spun older cousins...and you’re stuck. All alone. Screams. And wait, what’s that? Yeah, your friends texting you to come and join the party. Jealous! And those texts by Him. You’re flattered that Him remembers you, but you can’t even reply properly. And oops, here goes your mobile in 2 years old Bubbles hands. Click.Click.Click. Pictures are being taken. Horrible pictures! You’re hoping that she hasn’t accidentally mms those pictures to someone. All very suddenly Bubbles throws the mobile gleefully into air. You also throw yourself on the floor in attempt to catch it. You’ve caught it but also have managed to twist your ankle. You painfully (very!) get up and slump wearily into the couch. Eyeing your cousins with contempt and amusement. Wondering that you must be too like them when you were young. Annoying, snooty and messy. (By the way, I don’t think I was like them. Am too nice. So what if my parents say I was naughty as hell. Every parent thinks so). Shaggy tries to snatch your cell from you. You can’t help slapping him (cruel of me, I know) He runs to his mum crying at the top of his lungs. You feel guilty. But 9 – 1 = 8. Your cell vibrates and you smile widely when you see the text is by Him. You’re just about to read it when you cousin falls and hurts his knee. He cries loudly…he sounds like a wolf howling. His mum (your aunt) comes running in the room, picks up her children (4), gives you ‘the look’, and leaves the room. 9 – 5 = 4. Phew. Two girls in pink frilly frocks, looking angelic (looks can be deceiving) and two boys (am not gonna describe their appearance, just say they also lookinnocent) stare at you. You stare back, thinking what they up to? Are they thinking how to torture me? You ask yourself. And the answer is yes. An evil smile flickers across Dexter’s face. All four of them take out water guns and squirt the water at you. You let them, and now you’re wet. They run away, you’re too tired to run after them. Though, you’re seething with anger. After a while, your mum comes in and gives you a lecture. That how you should be gentle, attentive and patient towards children. You nod solemnly and promise to behave properly from now on. You mum smiles and then goes away. You’re alone. Thankfully. But still, missing the comfort of your room and of course, your worn out but comfy old blue jeans.
Terrible, right? That was how I spent my 2nd day of Eid =( but, well, it’s over now! So, cheers. And am never ever gonna baby-sit again.
I know you readers (if there is any) are making sympathetic faces. Poor girl, what luck! Well, such luck!
I want to sing this song (I know I sound horrible when I sing but just tolerate a bit)
So, ahem ahem…here I go:
I want fabulous, That is my simple request, All things fabulous, Bigger and better and best, I need something inspiring to help me get along, I need a little fabulous is that so wrong?
Thank you, thank you! (Bows)
Now you must be thinking why I sang this song. Don’t worry, am not at all like Sharpay, but I do want fabulous. And perfect. This is not easy as am far from perfect. To quote Marian KeyesI’m like plain unflavored yoghurt at 35 C. Get the hint, huh? Good!Even though I’m like yoghurt that doesn’t mean I can’t be perfect. Put ‘Nobody is perfect’ to hell! I say everybody is perfect (ok Sidrah, don’t you get sentimental here). Anyways, my point is…..well, I don’t know what my point is...am bored to death so am just writing whatever comes to mind.
Eid is tomorrow. Am glad. NOT! I don't have the perfect fabulous shoes!! Believe me, I tried every single shoe but none of them gelled with me. Actually, I bought one pair of shoes but now I don’t like them. Somewhere in the darkest corner of the city (I hope not too dark) perfect shoes would be waiting for me. I wish they’d scream my name so I’d go running to them. I feel likeCinderella waiting for her prince’s arrival with her shoes (not really!)
Oh no, mum just entered my room. What’s she saying?
‘Blah, blah blah blah blah…….’ mum is talking but am not listening, am not being rude or anything, it’s just that whenever mum (or dad) speaks to me my brain automatically stops working. So, it’s not my fault. I heard a word or two, something about cleaning my room. I just cleaned it three months ago! If mum insists I’ll just stash the stuff under the bed or in closets. Skeletons in the closet… (Lame joke, I know!)
‘Blah blah blah blah….’oh no, now she wants me to study! Isn’t that too cruel of mum? I have gotten free just a month ago (two months ago, actually). I need to relax (make that reeeeelaaaaxxxx!!!) and why do universities take aptitude test? People say they’re easy, just logic. But logic means I’ll have to use my brain. Which is quite hard. My mind doesn’t listen to me….it has a mind of its own. I do wonder sometimes if I’ve a mind or not. Then I say I must have, as am so smart and all (sorry, am not really a modest person). Oh, well.
Right now, I’m staring at the screen…posting my blog’s URL on Orkut (which I think is the most boring thing to do). Checking out random profiles (which is also the most boring thing), looking for perfect and fabulous background (boring). Wondering where my perfect and fabulous shoes are (disturbing). Thinking about writing a perfect and fabulous story (yawns)…..and I still wish I were an elf. Being a human being is way too boring. At least for me it is. Now my eyes are watering. I should shut down the PC, and I can smell something burning. You must be bored too by my all so nuisance chatter (I hope not!)….anyways.... Cya!
She wants fabulous, That is her simple request, All things fabulous, Bigger and better and best, She needs something inspiring to help her get along, She needs a little fabulous is that so wrong?
Fabulous pool, fabulous splash, Fabulous parties even fabulous trash, Fabulous fashion, fabulous bling, She's got to have fabulous everything.
Nothing to discuss. Everything's got to be perfect. For me!
Just a quote i liked: "Three things should never be broken...Toys, Promises and Hearts" You get up from the bed, draw the curtains..letting the warm sunshine in, you feel the cool breeze on your skin and tell yourself it's a new day. A new start. But later in the day nothing changes, everything is same. You're being trampled on again. At night you stand by your window, watching the moon hiding behind the clouds, you ask God 'Why me?' You never get an answer. You never will until you think. Maybe it's your own fault and you're unaware. Hate and jealousy will only damage your soul. It's a not good feeling when people are expecting something from you and you fail to live up to their expectations. You know you've a potential to do better, but you've failed and now it's over. You're giving up. Once a failure always a failure. Or so you think so. You're stuck in a big hole, all alone...but why give up? Try to find a way out. It's right when they say 'Try and try until you succeed'. You should never give up. No matter how hard you fall, or how far you fall...you have got to bounce back. Nobody in this world will help you. People might comfort you, but only you can help yourself. So, havehope and think happiness! And yes, Everyday is a new day, a new start. =)
It was our last day at school. We joked, laughed and smiled like nothing was changed. Gifts were exchanged, photographs were taken and promises were made. But we all knew deep inside that it won’t be same again. During the last hour, I went through all the classrooms, corridors, playground, library, laboratories…trying to keep their pictures fresh in my mind. At that time, I felt I wouldn’t be able to cope. School, where you spend about 12 years, is like a second home. It was quite disturbing knowing that I won’t be coming here anymore. Not ever wearing the boring uniform again which we all hated with a passion, not going to the canteen which sold food which wasn’t even edible, no more strict assemblies, no detentions, no gym, no double classes of chemistry, no dreading moments where you’d to face the principal, they might have sound welcoming when we were still in eighth grade, but not then…even if we hated those things there were far too many which we all loved. Especially the history class where we’d get all the fun, I know history classes are supposed to be boring but ours wasn’t. I looked at the desk where I’d doodled when I would be dying of boredom. I still wonder sometimes if the school still has that desk in which I’d written ‘Sidrah was bored here, Jan/2005 ’. But then again, it was not in a good shape…it’d be broken by now.We said goodbye like we normally did, no tears were shed, but we were smiling at one another nervously as if we knew we might never see each other again. When I reached home, I felt really sad. We friends still talked and met but it was different. We no longer could make fun of teachers, no daily gossips about who was doing what…we’d talk about old things like how silly that girl was looking in the picnic, or it was really unfair of our teacher to punish us when we weren’t the one talking. Stuff like that, it was ok, though. I didn’t get to brood for too long, I enjoyed summer vacations as I’d done every year...they ended and the college started. Oh, how scary I thought it’d be! I was sure I wouldn’t be able to fit in. On our 1st day, Sana said “It’s like we’re on a mission”...I agreed with her. It did seem like a mission. Two years passed like a flash and they were not bad, but quite fun. Again, on the last day at college, I felt as if I were leaving the important part of my life behind. The song ‘College days’ would make me sad, it still do actually. A week ago I went to college to collect the certificates. I’d thought I’d feel sad and all but surprisingly I didn’t. Everything was same but all the faces were different, the new students stared at me like I was intruding on their property...little did they know I’d the same feeling for them! Even I still miss my school and college days, I don’t really want to go back, because there’s no going back now. These doors have been closed forever *new ones are still locked!*. Those were lovely days, I can’t live them again...but I’ve gotten memories and my friends and they’ll do. Nothing lasts forever but hey, life goes on!
Now I’m wondering what’ll happen next, would I like the university (or wherever I’m going!)? Would other students like me? Would I be able to make friends? They’re my latest worries. Let’s see what happens now. Cya! ^_^
P.S: This drawing is made by Sana (shipwrecklagoon.blogspot.com) ...n here 'U' is me ..and Me is Sana =s!
The Land of Confusion is a vast land where you’ll find many people having blank expressions on their faces and big question marks dangling above their heads. They look harassed and tensed …a lost look on their faces tells you how hard they’re finding this life! Everybody visits this confusing land once in a lifetime, some people, many times...like me. I’m often there, searching for any clue that’ll help me to find a way out of this land. And the only way out is to make a decision, be it any; right or wrong, a decision is a decision...even if later it throws you back in the Land of Confusion! I’m saying this as few days ago I read a quote ‘Making a right choice is not as important as making the choice. One way or another, the rightness will show up’ so, well, I’m really hopeful that I’d come out all right. I just have to make a choice to get out of the Land of Confusion or else I’d be stuck there forever. But I don’t even know what my problem is. Maybe there isn’t any. I’m confused about my life, like, should I do this or that? Then I think about that quote, I say to myself, do anything. But where are the choices? I can’t see any. And poor me stuck in this Land alone, no friends to console me, they all know what they’re gonna do. I wish I could do anything I like. Fly and touch the sky, twinkle with the stars, take a jump from the cliff and land on the ground with no injuries, eat anything and everything without the fear of getting fat, take a tour of the galaxy and spend a weekend on my favorite planet, Jupiter, swim with the fishes freely breathing in water, and talk to animals like Pocahontas (she talks, right? Or, well, maybe I’m wrong)...and many things I know I can never do! Sometimes I don’t like my name it’s so common and many people forget to put an ‘H’ in my name which annoys me but it’s not their fault as most people spell it ‘Sidra’ ..Oh well!! I’m totally confused about the meaning of my name. Some says that it means ‘a tree in the heaven’ and some says ‘a fruit of heaven’. I hope it means tree, I love trees. Sometimes I talk to them too (if nobody is looking) and I wish I were an elf! If I could change my name it’d be Juniper (after this cartoon character, Juniper Lee). I don’t know the meaning but I if you do then please tell me (I hope it’s good)
I’m confused why I wrote this. I’m confused about being confused. I’m confused why on earth I’m posting this confusing thing. Hope you’re not confused...I think I just saw some people scratching their heads with theireyebrows raised! I know this is ridiculous! But, not my fault, I’m confused with capital C!
1) Try 2 watch all the movies I bought, lyk, ages ago (including Nim’s island, Definitely maybe, Spiderwick and 27 Dresses) 2) Try 2 stop listening 2 radio as I always send tons of message and finish my balance! (Thank God am too shy 2 call) 3) Stop crushing on Zac Efron n Nick Jonas. They distract me in studies. 4) Stop crushing on current CrushBoy. Anyways, he doesn’t know I exist! He distracts me in the class. 5) Try 2 listen 2 sad songs n dance lyk there’s no 2morrow! 6) Laugh on lame jokes lyk there’s no 2morrow. 7) “Only 5 posts a month” …that shud be my motto 8) Be online only for half an hour n only on weekends. 9) Stop eating Jam hearts as they can make me fat! (only 2 jam hearts a day) 10) Stop sending forward msgs. 11) No missed calls frm 2day! 12) Socialize with people and discuss current topics (discussions on Orkut and Facebook forums not included) 13) Try not 2 whine when I want something badly instead talk 2 mum & dad in a grown up way. 14) Help mum in clearing the table after lunch/dinner and try my best not 2 eat the leftovers! 15) Go out with friends to the mall or something (Sana, u rolling ur eyes?) 16) When go 2 Jumbo’s Book Sale, dun buy more than 6 books ..no, make that 10. 17) Be nice 2 my brothers so that they wud respect me more. 18) Study 4 the test … “Study all day n night” shud be my motto 19) Buy a Zong sim 20) Dun waste money over stupid n silly things lyk an extra sim! 21) Stop praying 2 God that He’d make me an elf. U never know when ur wish can come true …I might regret it later! 22) Be naturally funny..like Bridget Jones. 23) Listen 2 mum when she says ‘Eat ur veggies’ in this way I won’t get fat! 24) Try 2 watch channels other than Disney. 25) “Nobody is thinking abt u as everybody is thinking abt themselves”…shud be my motto (read it in a book called ‘Olivia Joules’) 26) Dun post Blog URL on Orkut Blogger communities daily (I do it lyk 10 times a day)…wishing that people wud come and comment on my pointless posts. 27) Stop giving Blog URl on MIRC ..in this way it’ll also prevent me frm getting kicked or banned. 28) Popularize ur Blog. ‘All is fair in love and blogging’ ..That shud be my motto. 29) Be more optimistic. People will love my blog eventually. 30) Stop telling people that I’ll go 2 Bermuda n solve the mystery when I’ll be 50. 31) Have fun!! 32) Love urself and smile a lot, it’ll make others wonder what I am up to! Smiling is also a good exercise for cheeks muscles. 33) Create a mysterious aura around myself .. that’ll also make people wonder! 34) Stop writing things on the desk lyk ‘bored 2 death’ n my blog URL, instead, concentrate on the lecture. 35) No more resolutions!! P.S: If I keep the above resolutions, in no time I’ll be organized, rich, talented and most responsible person in this world! Wish me luck!!
I was about 3 years old when my dad bought me my first book. It was called ‘Just so Stories’. I loved it! Of course I didn’t read the stories myself; I’d ask my parents to read them for me. I loved looking at the pictures. And sometimes when my parents weren’t looking, I’d color the pictures too. Seeing that I love books my dad got me another one, Around the World in Eighty days. But the funny thing is I still have not read it. I’ve this feeling it’d be really boring. I still got that same copy which is now old and battered but I don’t have a heart to throw it away or give it to someone else. By the way I’ve seen ‘around the world in eighty days’ Disney version, starring Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and Goofy! It was good! The first book I read all by myself was ‘The Gulliver’s Travels’ ...With a dictionary beside me^_^ …followed by Oliver Twist, The Secret Garden, Robinson’s Cruise, Emma, Heidi, Jane Eyre, Treasure Island, The Tempest, Tom Sawyer (I think Huckleberry Finn is better) ..Ok there are just so many and I just love to show off! I missed those moments when I’d curl up in my sofa at nights, when my noisy brothers would be sound sleep, reading a book and drinking warm milk. Gone are the days when I used to read Famous Five, Nancy Drew, Roald Dahl, Sweet Valley series, The Baby Sitters club etc etc …I also loved to read Sidney Sheldon’s novel. They were oh-so-mesmerizing! I’ve read all of them (told you I love to show off!) Nowadays I’ve become Bridget Jones, Jenny Colgan and Marian Keyes type fan. I’ve got so many books that I could open my own library, which annoys my mum very much as I’ve taken almost every single shelf in my house for books (no place left in my room) My all time favorite book is ‘The Faraway Tree’ by Enid Blyton. When I read it the first time, I was so fantasized by it. Every second I’d pray to God that I’d get to live in Enchanted Wood and meet Jo, Fanny and Bessie, some elves, brownies and imps. And of course Moon-Face, Saucepan man and Silky! Once I’d this wonderful dream in which I saw that my family and I had moved to a country side. We’d a big farm and a pond. There were cows, ducks and hens (which lay golden eggs) …and in the middle of the farm stood a large tree which was supposed to be the magical Faraway tree. I visited every land by climbing through the cloud (My favorite land was the land of tea parties!) Thank God I didn’t get stuck in Dame Slap’s school!! Well, when I woke up, I was really disappointed to find myself in my own oh-so-boring home! Lol! And oh yes! How could I forget three such famous and best books! You’re right! They’re Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings and Eragon! I really miss Harry Potter series; I’ve read all the parts so many times that I don’t want to read anymore, want something new! Eragon’s third part will be out in September, I can hardly wait! Something to look forward to….!
Okay, that’s it! Wondering why I wrote all this? Simple...Was BORED, as usual! I’ve this big test coming up in September and I’ve not read a single word yet...But I’ll start studying from tomorrow, seriously I’ll. Honest! (Just hope I’d!)
Just imagine your life without friends. Weird, isn’t it? I take my friends for granted, I think everybody does. But life would be so empty without them. Nobody calling you for hours to talk about random things, nobody there to whom you can tell some juicy piece of gossip, nobody there sharing your joys and sorrows, nobody lending you notes, books, Cds, jewelry and stuff, nobody helping you in studies, nobody calling your name the way your friends do, nobody laughing at your lame jokes, no shoulder to cry on, nobody waiting for you when you go to college, school and the kind, nobody suddenly appearing behind your back, startling you but making you smile at the same time …there’re million, no trillions of good things about friends which we ignore, never taking them seriously, thinking that they’re just small things but in reality they’re the things which make our day. I don’t have many friends, actually only four but they’re my real friends. I can trust them. That’s the best thing about friends; you can count on them to help you! I never had a real one until I was in class 10th; there I met Maria and Sk. Hey guys! I love you both!! (I know you’re not reading this but I’ll make you. Ha-ha). And then there’s Iqra, my quiet friend, who never tells me her dark secrets! =( but I wish she’d someday! And at last but not the least, yes you’re right, it’s you Sana. I know you were waiting for your name to come along. So there you’re! More about you?? Well ……I met Sana four years ago in coaching. We performed a practical together, exchanged numbers and for two years we never saw each other, just talked on phone for few seconds. Then luckily we got admission the same college and TADA we became fast friends! We still are. Sana, stop grinning. I wrote about you because you comment on my posts and let me borrow your books (so what, you borrow mine too!) …just kidding! You’re my special friend and I’m really glad I met you!! ^_^ ok this is getting corny … So guys, cherish the moments you spend with your friends. Treat them nicely (but don’t let them empty your pockets). Show them that you love and care; tell them that you’re lucky to have such nice friends (Like I’m doing right now! Sorry, just joking!!) …and never talk about them behind their backs; spare them, don’t make them the subject of your gossip! And never, as in never ever, break their trust because once the trust is broken it’s impossible to fix the bond of friendship (umm... I’m not good at quoting) and two more important things about friends: * They send you forward sms on Friendship’s day! * They also comment on your blog making it quite popular! (Thanks Sana!)
That’s it! It’s 2am right now and I’m wide awake. If my mum would see me here sitting on PC so late, she’d have a fit (I’m exaggerating) ….and well, I hope you like it, the post I mean. Bye now!
When I was in ninth grade, there was a festival in our school. I came wearing a simple yellow T-shirt and jeans, a touch of lip gloss and my hair tied back in a pony tail. My mum said I looked good. When my classmates saw me, they squealed and told me that I looked like a kid of primary section. I’d an urge to run back home change my dress. All the time during the function, I’d this feeling that everybody is laughing at me. I saw my classmates wearing tight tops and loose baggy jeans held by silver belts, their streaked hair, cascading down their shoulders and tons of jewelry. I wished I could look like them, wishing that my mum would stop thinking I’m a kid. I was 13, for god sake! I’d real bad time and it was my own fault. I’m 17 now, but I still dress the same way, my hair are still natural brown and my mum still thinks that I’m a kid and some people even say I look like a kid. But I don’t feel so bad now. I might not look like those girls but in no way I’m less than them. Looking good is essential, of course. But why make it extravagant? Why become obsessed with fashion and always trying to look sexy? Why some people think using bad language and swearing make you look cool? Sometimes I have this sudden urge to dye my hair all blue and get a tattoo on my arm (I’d love being an EMO!!) but I fight it back. Now I love being me. I’m glad that my parents are strict with me, scolding me whenever I’d do something wrong, not letting me use internet all night long when I was in school, not letting me have my own TV and not giving me a cell phone until I was in college. I wanted to watch all those star plus soap operas the girls gossiped about in school, I’d argue with my mum allowing me to watch them and eventually she did. But they were not as special as my classmate had told me, I think Disney channel is way better (yeah, go and laugh, I still watch Disney and it ROCKS!) So, guys if someone says you look like a baby, weird, odd or something equally like that don’t feel bad, if you think you’re good then you’re. Be yourself and don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. I’m happy that I was wearing that simple yellow T-shirt and jeans at the festival when I was in ninth grade.
P.S: I was inspired to write this when I read my friend, Sana’s post ‘Different is okay’!!
After months of scorching heat and sunny days, finally, some rain. I can hear it on my window pane; drip-drop it goes. It sounds lovely. But rain in Karachi? Oh boy! It starts with a drop then another drop this time a little bigger; then it starts drizzling (the real drizzling ...not just some tiny spheres of water). And then suddenly, the light goes out. In this way the City Of Light becomes the City of Darkness. But that’s not all, with time the rain becomes heavier. And suddenly all the water pours down like someone has held the sea upside down. This results in lots of complications. You see people scurrying around everywhere. And people get stuck, lucky ones in their houses and the unlucky ones in their cars (in the middle of the road). Citizens of Karachi are unfortunately no heroes. Those who’re trapped can’t even help themselves let alone help others. And then there is ‘Keecher’ a.k.a Mud; a mixture of soil and water. Some people and children pretend that this huge mass of muddy water is actually a swimming pool and thus they swim (And get ill and catch colds). For rich people, rain is a fun thing. Eating pakoras, drinking tea while watching the rain fall down, enjoyable. But for poor people it’s horrendous. The wind and rain join forces and SLAM! The huts and roofs go down killing thousands of people.
But when the rain stops, we cry ‘it never rains in Karachi’ or ‘there should have been more, it was no fun’. Weird! But guys, the rain while having its disadvantages got some advantages too. The government has to extend our vacations because of the bad condition of city and fear of getting caught in the rain, and also the weather turns pleasant making the citizens of Karachi happy and cheerful from the cranky and irritating servants of heat…! Magic!
P.S: My dad took his umbrella to work today. It’s large, black and really heavy. But unfortunately it didn’t rain and it was really sunny in the morning. Surprising as it was raining cats and dogs yesterday! But then again it’s Karachi. Poor dad! Lol ^_^
The other day I was getting rid of my old books and stuff when a blue diary caught my eye; it was full of doodles and cartoons. I turned the pages one by one, laughing at funny remarks and drawings made by my friends and me. On of the page I found a letter I’d written to myself. It was like this:
“18th September 2006 Monday 11:40 am College, beneath the library window.
I don’t want to write!! I’m bored and have nothing else to do so I’m writing! But then again I don’t want to write…
Right now I’m at college, it’s our free period !! Sana (the future author) told me to write whatever I can think of. She says that when I’ll be a big girl, I’ll read this and will think of sweet memories. I wonder how big I’ll be when I’ll be a big girl because I’m pretty big now. I’m 15 (in case I forget) in 1st year pre-medical (I think it’s stupid to write these details)
It’s so hot today!! I’m so sweaty and tired and sleepy and etc. Today I drank the most unusual drink; Pepsi with mosquitoes!![Yuck!!!] Of course by mistake. I drank the half bottle then asked Sana if she’d like some. She said yes and gave me a cup; I poured it and saw MOSQUITOES floating in the drink!! I felt so sick…!!! Lol, poor me!
I’m dreading the next period, its zoology! Our teacher is sOooooOooO sarcastic and cruel and everything bad. But I might have fun while escaping. We often do that; bunk the class during the lecture through the back door. Thankfully, haven’t got caught yet..!
Sana is writing to her friend, Sarah, who lives in Scotland and… Hey! Sk’s here! Uh-uh she wants me to write her a letter!! Guess I’ll, bye!!!”
Then I’ve written this little note on 17th May 2007: ‘OHH! Sana was so right! This letter did bring bitter-sweet memories. It’s only seven months back but now it seems such a long time. Gotta run, exams starting from 25th may!!’
Well, two years ago, when I was only 15! It sure feels weird! Oh by the way I didn’t throw that blue diary. I’m keeping it! =)
We went to the library, hiding away from the teachers, and sat quietly between the book shelves under the cool breeze of the fan. We browsed through the books happily munching on our chips, not saying a word but occasionally smiling at each other to acknowledge the serenity of the situation. All was quite except the rustling of papers and churning of fan. We took out our cell phones and listened to our favorite songs and hummed quietly along. Those 30 minutes felt wonderful without any discussion of exams and notes, gossiping about other students and teachers or how scary and big the world is out there. There was no need to say anything. That moment was most wonderful and peaceful.
Why do we always feel that we always have to talk about something? Why do we always fill the gaps of silence with words? Sometimes there is no need to talk.
I love the moments when I’m having tea with my family, TV volume turned off, enjoying the company of each other without saying a word.
I love the moments when my friend and I sit beneath the cool shade of the tree happily sucking on our ice-lolly neither of us saying a word.
I love the moments when I wake up in the morning, for few minutes lying quietly on my bed listening to the world outside.
Just once, close your mouth, in the presence of other person and feel the beauty of silence. There’ll be no need of words.
Today was my last day at college. Two years passed away so quickly, I can’t believe it. I remember my first day at college so well. I didn’t sleep all night and was super-nervous. I was worried that I’d make a fool of myself and everybody would just hate me and all that silly stuff. When it was morning, I was so sleepy that I thinking about not going to college. But I’d to go. And so I did. I didn’t like the teachers at first. They seemed so distant and uncaring. And then I got ragged and had to sing a song. My only friend at college, Sana, said to me it was like we were on a mission. And it really looked like that. We didn’t know the correct timetable and were sitting on the ground beneath the scorching heat of sun waiting for the class to begun. I hated college at that time. It seemed so unfriendly. And we were like so young just out of high school and those seniors student scaring us! And we had welcome party and my other friend, Saira, took admission. We had so much fun then. Maybe I didn’t like to wake up in the morning, waiting for the college-van, taking labs, when the eagle took way my pizza, when a bird crapped on our ice-creams and journals, crossing the huge ground again and again n all that. But I definitely loved bunking classes, listening songs with my friends at the stadium, being the black sheep of our class (and BEING in the class of fulltime NERDS), gossiping about other students and teachers, the time when Saira tried to teach me basketball (she failed miserably ^_^), taking round of canteen time and again and eating all the things (God! we ate SOOOO much, even the stuff we didn’t like), writing funny stuff on desks, eating chips in class, taking funny snaps of each other and other peoples behind their backs, exchanging CDs and books, sitting between the cupboards in library, making up stories about our teachers and well there are just too many good things which I’ll always remember and would miss doing them. I didn’t realize it before but I know now I love my college and I’m going to miss it! Sniffs!
Terrible two's, terrible teens, I keep my shout shut, oh, where is my thunder? while you feel the breeze, I only sneeze a matter of gender? I guess! telling you though now i won't rest, till i fee my might, get to stay out all night, get to know who i'm, not to read about it, get to make myself known, not the quiet of my home, girls we are, and east or west, we're alright! Terrible two's, terrible teens, just my lonely voice in the night, in my too quite house. This poem is from the book Pen Pals. It’s one of my favorite poems. It’s short, easy and inspiring. All the girls out there, especially eastern girls, I just want to say if you’re girls it doesn’t mean you’ve to stay indoors and do all the chores. Yes, help your mum in cooking n stuff but there are other things too like having fun. In Pakistan and India, most of the families are sexist; they don’t let their daughters complete their studies or they don’t let their wives do the job. They say boys are better than girls but what’s the proof? I think girls are lot better, so what if they cry easily? At least they can show emotions. People say that girls are jealous and vain but what about the ego and pride in boys? Girls are more responsible and caring. Boys might get more freedom that’s why they got into bad company often but girls when confined into the four walls of their houses pick up lot of good traits from their parents. So, girls are in no way weaker than boys, infact they are way stronger and better! So girls just come out of your shells and show the world your face!
Terrible two’s, terrible teens, When will they be over I’ll take my place, on life’s grand stage Then they’ll see, and then they’ll know the face, the voice of my soul, I’m waiting, waiting for that moment for my moment.
Nobody wants to die, all one wants is to be happy. Why do people commit suicide? Because they think there is no hope? Nobody can tell what's going to happen in future. They say destiny is written and it's not going to change but do we know what's written in our fate? No, we do not! If a person has 100 dollars, he could have earned it or could have stolen it, but in the end he has gotten 100 dollars, it depends on him how he got it.
There is a person who is committing suicide by jumping from a bridge or something; he jumps, he falls, he breaks his leg but he doesn't die. So now his life has become more complicated. If he's been optimistic and had tried to see things in a positive light, then he'd never lost his leg =D
Why am i writing all this? I don't know. But sometimes when i'm sad and unhappy, i just want to die, nothing else. But the next day (or hour) ..when something nice happens, i'm happy that i'm alive ...so guys, if you're depressed and think everything is going wrong then just wait..things will change and you'll be happy ...maybe not now, but someday. So just have hope and keep smiling! So long! ^-^
